last. and beyond

Last semester I went to the last class of a course on American Folksongs that a friend of mine invited me to. The walls of the class were covered up with some quite good pieces of art (inspired by songs, I was told!) and beautiful music was being played. It felt like a gathering of friends by the side of a railroad in the middle of the continental U.S.... It felt like the people there had grown to be friends and partners in a way, not competitors or merely classmates like in most other classes at UC Berkeley.
Knowing that a similar class, this time on Mexican Folksongs, was going to be offered next semester, I enrolled in it without a doubt.

My starting point was a layered one: First of all, I felt excited to get to deepen into Mexican culture (through its songs!); deeper still, I looked forward to creating weekly artwork, with freedom in the media and approach; and even deeper down, I felt separated from my roots at having been talking exclusively in English for the last six months. I found myself elapsing slightly or doing weird grammar constructions when speaking to my family and friends on video calls. It felt like the language I had been using all my life had been somewhat forgotten, and the identity that I have when thinking and speaking in English varies even so slightly from my self in Spanish.
I have learned many things about Mexico and its cultural complexities, but what I have learned, overall, is what it means to be mexican today, in the US; of the many difficulties that arise with migration and cross cultures; of managing to keep cultures and traditions despite the change of times.

I am especially grateful for the exchange of opinions and viewpoints that have happened through the semester in the class. How differently, or how similarly, we have all approached the same matter. I think I have learned equally from Tony's lessons, the class materials, and my classmates' work. (which is a very rare situation for me. In the past, I have either learned from the classmates or from the teacher, I find unusual such a healthy ratio as this course has been)
It has become evident how we all distinctively dye with our touch and background everything that we do. How culture is this net of invisible traces drawn on our skin that is passed around, transformed, into everything we lay our fingers on.

When it comes to my own evolution through the class, I believe it has been an ascending curve. I started trying to shape wood and using different media until I found a true companion in ink on paper. I think that if the semester had lasted any longer I would have kept this materials but would have taken them to larger and larger formats. My biggest struggle has been how to shape the undifferentiated mass of feelings and thoughts that the songs and readings evoke, week after week. This being the purpose of the course, it has been a pleasure to go to class every week and know that my classmates' similar efforts would be there to see, that we were all together in this boat, and that thursdays nights were the feedback, the constructive criticisms, the pat on your back and some other reaction surprises. I feel we all have shared not only the materials, the tunes, the words; but also the feeling of developing something from it, the battle to conform a piece that expresses the intangible. Week after week.

My work, my path, has been one of enlightenment. I have seen the many ways and means to express, and chosen the one I felt most confortable with. I have understood that being Spanish, in a similar way as being Mexican, is a perpetual task to maintain whenever you leave the motherland.
I have learnt that culture is too easily forgotten, and its stories and histories take effort to sustain.
It is of an extreme fortune to have both ways, to be able to speak English in California (or anywhere) and be welcomed, share cultural ways, have an identity... While also being in and through madrileña, española como la aceituna.
However, both ways, both identities, need to be taken care of. Their importance needs to be understood and actively pursued. Because we are too adaptable creatures, and it is too easy to forget...
Fortunately, it is a matter of wanting to know more, understanding the reasons behind the traditions, discovering the inner sketch of the cultural ways. And identity becomes then a matter of wisdom, of learning and teaching, of sharing, of creating.

To conclude, I would merely say that I am extremely happy that I joined a class recommended by my very good friend Iz. A growth has taken place, and I couldn't be more satisfied with the outcome. Now I can call my classmates friends, my professor a mentor, and my path merely a step further down the road. The horizon is still very far away.